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And how could it, when that data so rapidly changes? The average life expectancy of an American today is 79 years. What most of us think and feel about aging simply hasn’t caught up with the data on aging. It is highly unlikely that they didn’t pass along to your parents what they knew to be true about the human lifespan - and that your parents didn’t in turn pass along to you that same paradigm for aging. Most people born in 1900 didn’t live past 50. The life expectancy for an American born in 1905 was 46 years. Which means that their parents - your grandparents - were born around 1905. How do I know that your parents think/thought that 61 is old? Because assuming they had you when they were in their mid-20s, they were born circa 1930. You just think it is, because that’s what you learned from your parents. That said, life is not as short as you seem to believe it is. Life’s too short to spend time with people who don’t love you for who you are. Thanks.Īnswer: The benefits of your coming out to more of your friends is that you’ll feel better because you’ll be living a more honest life, and your friends will love that you loved them enough to share that with them.Īnd if any of your friends react to your coming out to them with anything but love and affection? Then hand them a dictionary, tell them to look up the word “friend,” and show them the door.
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I guess I'm writing to you because I'm hoping that you might be able to offer some insight into my situation.
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I'd love to come out, but I can't see the benefit, since I don't see the possibility for a deep, meaningful relationship at this point in my life. When you're young and your life is ahead of you, coming out has so much more to offer. This is more complicated too, because it's so much harder to fall in love as you get older. Naturally, I feel like I'm keeping something back from my straight friends, but I'm so used to this way of being that it seems overwhelming to change it. But I just can't seem to build up momentum to come out in a bigger way. I've very selectively come out to a few friends over the years, and, of course, to my gay friends. Question: I'm a 61-year-old gay man who is still pretty much in the closet.